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The slamming of the door awakened me, and I realized I must have fallen back asleep, as it was dark in the living room.
“Madlax?” I called out into the darkness.
She flicked on the light, and stood staring at me. Her hair was wet with rain.
“You know, for a special agent, you sure are noisy.” I remarked, but she did not give me her usual smile. Instead she took off her jacket, shook the rain from it, and walked slowly to the sofa. She seemed tired as she sat down heavily next to me. Before I could think, my arm was around her, and her damp head was on my shoulder.
“Bad day at the….office?” I had no idea where she ever went to, I realized.
“Have you been drinking?” she asked.
“A little. Just to pass the afternoon.”
“Looks like the whole bottle is gone.” she kicked the empty bottle with her boot to make her point. I felt a small surge of anger go through me. If I was just some make-up project for her, and she didn’t want to be here, then she should just leave. Just because she brought me back, didn’t mean she owed me anything. I took my arm away and leaned back into the sofa, gazing at her, trying to sort out everything I was feeling.
“What’s wrong with you? You’re looking at me like you want me to leave.” she stared at me, frowning.
“Maybe it’s you who wants to leave.”
“As a matter of fact, I am going away.” she got up and went down the hall. I could hear her throw her backpack on the floor, and the drawer open. I got up, grabbing the sofa for support, suddenly realizing I had much more to drink than I thought. I made my way slowly down the hall, weaving and hopping, bracing myself against the wall. She was sitting on the bed, with her jacket back on, talking on the phone. She clicked it off when I reached the doorway. I braced myself between the door and the wall.
“Madlax, I’m sorry.” For so many things, things I don’t even know.
“You’re drunk.” she gave me a look that made me hang my head. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was disgusted with myself- for drinking so much, for wanting to give her the freedom to go…and wanting her to stay. Through blurry eyes, I saw her reach inside her jacket.
“I owe you something.” she said evenly, and walked over to me, standing behind me. I felt a tear run down my face. I had to release her from this duty.
“No, you don’t owe me anything. Please don’t think that.”
I felt her hands on either side of me, and something light and cool on my neck. Some sort of necklace, as she fumbled with the hook in the back.
“What- what is this?” I choked out, clearing my throat.
“Your necklace. You wore it every day until the day you died.” she said softly, struggling patiently to fasten it.
“Madlax...why am I here….am I…just some sort of mistake to you…” my voice was barely audible. It was time for the truth, I had to know. That way she could be excused honorably from her duty.
I heard the clasp finally snap. Her hands covered mine, I felt her body lean into me. We were both silent for a moment, and I could feel her breathing in unison with me.
“I used to be lost….before. The mistake was that I didn’t know who I was, or what it was that I truly wanted. It took…time.” her voice was barely audible. “Do you really want me to not come back, Vanessa Renee?”
I shook my head no, and clenched her fingers in mine.
“So you’ll think about things then?”
“Yes.” I whispered.
She extracted her hands. “I have to go. I have a plane to catch.” she went back into the bedroom, and I heard her heave her backpack onto her shoulders. She came out, and I turned and put my arm around her, limping down the hallway with her, making our way slowly to the door.
“It’s not just tonight, is it.” I said, looking at the pack on her shoulders.
“Three or four days, probably. I tried to get it changed but it’s beyond my control. I hate to leave you like this.” she said unhappily. We reached the door, and suddenly I felt very awkward about saying goodbye. I hugged her as best I could, standing on one leg, trying to get my arms under the backpack.
“Will you miss me?” she asked softly, running her hands up and down my back. It made me tingle, and I could feel myself blushing. The wine only served to make my cheeks redder, and I buried my face on her shoulder.
“I’ll think about it.” I felt her hands moving up my back, into my hair, and she pulled my head up, looking into my eyes.
“Would you…think about something else for me.” she whispered.
I could barely breathe, looking at her so close, so intensely, and I closed my eyes as she leaned in, dreading it, wanting it, the feel of her lips as she kissed me softly. It felt wonderful, the tenderness of her lips on mine. “Soft.” I whispered, feeling her lips touch mine again.
“Yes you are.” she murmured, and pressed into me, causing me to fall backwards into the wall. I braced myself with my hands, still balancing on one leg, not wanting to break the wonderful kiss. I felt her hands on my shoulders, then sliding down over my body, stopping to fumble with the sash on my bathrobe.
“Madlax!” I broke my mouth away from hers as my hands tried to stop her. She pinned my hands back down against the wall, leaning heavily into me. Her teeth sank into my neck and I yelped. We stayed that way for a few seconds and I could feel her body shaking, as if she was trying to regain control. Her teeth released me, and she kissed me softly on my sore neck.
“Tomorrow is my birthday.” she said softly, trailing little kisses up my neck, to my cheek. “But I want my present now. Don’t stop me, Vanessa.” her voice, the way she said my name, made a warm wet thrill surge through me. I turned my head so I could kiss her again, opening my mouth for her, taking her into me. This time, I didn’t stop her hands as she untied my sash.

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